Here are a few simple yet effective tips that you can use to plan your day better:

• Visualize your long term picture of success and put it in writing, or depict it graphically. 

• Set timelines, even if tentative. 

• Try to do your planning at the same time every day. Use this time to review past accomplishments as well as future things to do.
  
• Use only one planner to keep track of your appointments. Keeping a separate business and personal planner creates confusion. You can also use your calendar, or a spreadsheet.
  
• Write out a To Do list every day, to keep you on track, but do not obsess over it.
  
• Know the difference between urgent and important.
  
• Check off items as you complete them to give yourself a sense of accomplishment.
  
• Block off time in your planner for major activities, including thinking and reflection time. When you have it on your calendar, you will get to it 

• Don’t jam your day full of activities. Leave time for emergencies

• Always plan time for balance; include family, fitness, and recreation, social and spiritual activities. 

The other day, back in summer, I was having a chat with a corporate client after a workshop, and we got talking about mangoes. They mentioned that their mother till date doesn’t consume one full mango. And I was reminded that it was the case in our household too. Either a few mangoes were cut and we all had to share, or we had to ensure that there was a mix and match so everyone gets to taste all the mangoes, and that there is no one left with a not-so-sweet mango. The result, you can’t have a full mango alone..

Now this mango really stands for so many things that get packaged in our beliefs, doesn’t it? It is what we believe we are worthy of.. It could be a high-paying job. It could be loving relationships.. it could be perfect health.. If I believe that I don’t deserve any of this, then it is not going to come my way.. worse still, one can get caught in the pattern of hit and miss, which is so hurtful and frustrating. the belief that I have to earn worthiness..

Interestingly enough, when we first attempt to think differently, through any of the CBT or thought change models, the guilt of not obeying what was taught to us is paramount. The journey is in recognising and choosing to let go of the old to embrace the new, so we can all enjoy that full mango, guilt free! What do you think?

If you wish to explore this area at a deeper level, I invite you to join us for a two hour Zoom workshop “I deserve…” on Sunday, 27th August. 10 am to 12 noon. Do comment if you’d like to sign up.

deserve #worthiness

Wish you a Happy Holi!

Our lives are colourful, thanks to the variety of emotions we experience. While positive emotions are desirable, negative emotions can throw us off track. And did you know, negative emotions are of two types – helpful and unhelpful. Getting rid of negative emotions altogether is impossible in everyday situations, but learning the art of changing unhelpful emotions to helpful ones can really put you in charge of your life, and help you navigate through challenges successfully!

Join us this Saturday, 11th March, from 4 pm to 5.30 pm IST on Zoom, for our upcoming workshop “Explore, Embrace and Express Emotions”, and learn how to manage emotions at work and in personal life.

Here is the link to make the payment and register: https://rzp.io/i/GFQPg9S

You can also read more about the workshop here: http://www.refindyou.com/online-workshops

Have you ever had those days where you wake up and manage to do everything that you would like to? Like an ideal morning – meditation, reflection and journaling time, 60 minute workout, food preparation and/or anything else that kick starts your day? 

Today was such a day for me! It was like time and space got created miraculously, without any stress of having to do things! 

As a rule, unless I have a flight to catch, I don’t set an alarm, and I trust my body and mind to wake up once they are well rested and fresh. And today was a day with extra time!

It got me thinking, when we desire such “perfect” mornings, do we take a moment to celebrate them and us, when we have them? 

And, if you are someone that follows your routine to the tee, and this is therefore what each morning of yours looks like, do you take a moment to pat yourself on your back each day, and feel happy? Or do you just dismiss this off thinking it is “normal”. Come to think of it, this is you achieving your morning goals each and every day! 

Little moments like these where you recognise the achievement of goals and reward yourself with words of appreciation can go a long way in you believing in your ability. And it adds to the repository of evidence that you can do it, because you have done it, time and again. Isn’t this what #motivation is all about. 🙂 

This picture was clicked during our waiting time to Matrimandir.. our retreat was filled with so many beautiful highlights!

This post is dedicated to our wonderful participants

One of our participants, whose birthday it is today, made special arrangements to make it for the retreat, preponing her birthday leave during her probation so she could wholeheartedly participate, without work getting affected. Her sincerity and honesty throughout the four days was heartwarming!

Our second participant’s enthusiasm, eagerness to learn and willingness to be open brought a beautiful momentum to the entire retreat!

Most importantly, a small group is intimate, but can be really intense too, when it comes to personal work! And a residential program is at least twice the intensity as full day workshops.

Kudos to both of them for working together and individually! They truly brought meaning to the words “Celebrate YOU”.

Isn’t making mistakes, stalling and coming back on track a part of celebrating who we are as individuals? I say this because of what I recently went through…

We made the first official announcement of our first ever retreat in Nov 2022, with the website link, hotel details, travel suggestions etc etc. All positive emotions – excitement, joy, hope, everything was on a high. It was a wonderful feeling. Still is… But, what happened along the way is with other corporate work, workshops, one-on-one sessions taking precedence, talking about the retreat took a back seat. Of course, there were posts going up on social media – but the joy, excitement and all other positive emotions sort of dissipated. And then, looking at the calendar, an alarm struck in my head – “Oh My God.. There’s not much time left, it’s almost here”. And the tug-of-war between overthinking, analysing and procrastination began (three teams, I know 😊 ). “What if it’s too late? Where should I start now? How should I go about it? Afterall, I need to be the one that is planning…”The result, more delay and moving away from the initial gush of positive emotions. Soon, I caught myself playing this game.

I had a conversation with myself – (sharing it verbatim, as the tone of the self-talk eventually determines what we do. And notice the “We” v/s the “You” in the self-talk)

What was the reason behind planning and announcing this retreat? Wasn’t there a reason why we chose to call it “Celebrate You”? How did we feel when we first announced it? Given that all the content, the activities and everything is in order, the only part left is to create more visibility, so that maximum people benefit, and you enjoy conducting it too. And the best part, enrolments are there already, so that’s moving too! And as always, the perfect group comes together, and we have a great time together”.

The result of this conversation with myself is this blog. And the excitement and joy is back!

I invite you to this four-day amazing journey in the beautiful city of Pondicherry! You can expect insights, fun, laughter, introspection, a lot of inner work and celebration with a facilitator who stands for all of these(that’s me)! 😊

If you or anyone you know would like to sign up, the dates are 11 – 14 Feb at Auroville, Pondicherry

For all other details, here is the link: www.refindyou.com/retreat

PS: If you end up missing our blogs and other updates, do join our admins only Whatsapp group by clicking on this link: https://chat.whatsapp.com/F0ZDQLH58AYJhgJbPGr1WE

When I got my visiting cards printed over three years ago, pre-covid times, I had given a good thought to the services that ReFind You offers, whether we’d like to make any changes, additions, subtractions, etc. One service that I felt strongly about was Retreats, because I believe that time away from daily life doing inner work can speed up self growth way more than regular daily work. Let’s say it’s like a booster shot!

Back in the day, we used to offer a workshop “Harmonize.. Your Wellness Story “, which focused on how physical, emotional, spiritual wellness are the three pillars on which our holistic growth is based. The retreats were to be a level two of these workshops. I had scouted places, rolled out a plan, had enquiries, but the plan didn’t materialise. The visiting card did undergo revisions over time, but the retreats stayed on.. 

Cut to today- where the retreat plan is back, and is taking place in a location that is beautiful, with amazing vibe- Pondicherry. What better way to get back to the retreat bandwagon! So excited to facilitate this journey at the start of the new year. 

Retreat dates – 11-14 Feb 2023 

If you’d like to be a part of this journey, do check out http://www.refindyou.com/retreat

I had an interesting month of October – loads of travel for leisure, and not work for a change. The one-on-one sessions count wasn’t as high either, and I was relieved because I didn’t have to turn down session requests.

Here came the conflict: “How can I take a break for such extended periods? I can’t afford to be off work! But everyone deserves a break once in a while. Yes, but the break can’t be for almost one month. I had anticipated this conflict, and I had excitedly planned a workshop on ‘Embracing Prosperity’ on Dhanteras day. I felt proud of creating a workaround, and establishing a work-life balance of sorts.

But here’s what happened – I did not have the bandwidth to plan to promotion, inform those who were interested and had asked me to let them know. As a result, I did not have any enrolments. I felt partly relieved, and partly guilty. What poor planning this is – said the critical voice, and it was definitely not a nice feeling!

I got my act together, and told myself – I have two options:

Option 1) succumb to the critical voice, which is formed by years of conditioning that tells you that you are good enough only if you are productive, doing x amount of work, earning y amount of money and so on, so that you “earn” your vacation and time off

Option 2) decide to live in the moment – believe that you deserve breaks and fun time without needing to “earn” them by proving to yourself that you are worthy. (Trust me, this has got nothing to with actual affordability wrt money or spending capacity) And then get back to work and enjoy work too, whenever you are truly back!

And, I chose Option 2! 😊

Earlier, I did not even recognize this conflict, and mindlessly pursued the self-set standard, telling myself that “I should” be working all the time because I love my work, and by not working, after switching professions, and doing the work I actually love, is being unfair (to I do not know whom, in hindsight). My life changed when I went through the ‘Heal Your Life’ experience – a training that helped me truly dig deep, be aware of my limiting beliefs, question the shoulds that were perfectly masked as self-set standards, and learn to be kind with myself. Of course I slip, and every time that I do, like the example I mentioned above, this kindness helps me come back without pressure. Earlier, I wouldn’t have even considered writing about this experience!

While I love all the work I do, this one has helped me in more ways than I could imagine, and I therefore feel humbled and excited to facilitate the journey of others taking this course too!

On that note, I am so happy to announce three upcoming workshops of ‘Heal Your Life”:

“Heal Your Life” Virtual Workshop (fundamental level) – 12-13 November, 11 am to 2 pm IST on Zoom

Read more and register here: http://www.refindyou.com/heal-your-life-virtual-workshop/

“Love Yourself, Heal Your Life” Two day in-person workshop – 26-27 November 2022, 9 am to 6 pm IST, in Mumbai

Read more and register here: http://www.refindyou.com/2-day-workshop

“Heal Your Life, ReFind You” Four- day Residential Retreat – 11-14 February 2023, in Pondicherry, India

Registration details coming soon! 😊 Do write to us if you are interested in attending this, so we will notify you first!

By Sushma I R

A little back-story: I did a Half Marathon after over 2.5 years, at one of the toughest yet most scenic routes at Satara.

I had not been running long distances during the rains, and also had a slight knee injury recently, because of which I didn’t think it was a good idea to push my body. At the same time, since my brother Kartik was participating and had trained really well, I didn’t want to cancel my trip. So, I decided to go, with just one goal – to have a good time. I had not even decided if I would participate in the race until the day of the race.

Here are a few lessons I learnt, which, although are related to the race experience, are relevant to life in general!

• Plans are good to have, but inability to stick to plans doesn’t make you a failure
• The childhood tendency of comparing your own performance with that of others, in order to believe that you are good enough, stays, no matter what stage of life one is in. It requires effort to break away from it

• Just because (almost) everyone has a goal (mostly related to completion time, when it comes to running), it doesn’t have to be your goal too

• “If results don’t show, your efforts are not good enough” is the most self-sabotaging belief to hold

• Everyone is on their own journey – some get to the destination sooner, some later, and some quit. But quitting doesn’t make you less human

• Sometimes, listening to your body and stopping is wiser than pushing your body believing that “the least you can do is push and complete a race. Otherwise, what’s the point!”

• There are all kinds of people, some who wish to push and win, others who want to be better than what they were, and still others who just want to enjoy the scenery and have a good time. Some are a combination of the above too! It helps to recognize and accept where you are.

• Every step along the way is an opportunity for you to express gratitude – gratitude to people cheering for you, to your body for supporting you and enduring the strain, the weather for being so supportive, for mother nature to enthral with her scenic beauty. It’s a gratitude carnival

• It is easy to fall prey to your critical voice when your goal is different from that of the majority. It requires effort to believe that “You are good enough, exactly as you are”

• Getting rid of the pressure of reaching the destination in a specific way makes the journey way more beautiful and memorable

• When you enjoy the journey, getting to the destination whenever you do, becomes the cherry on the cake