Six months ago, on 31st October, I walked out of my office space with sadness that I gave the space up, but also with relief, because I knew this was the right decision, and it was about time. 

I loved my office! Based out of a hotel, it was unconventional, cosy, had a really beautiful vibe, and I had it at an amazing price because I rented it just post covid. Back then, commuting to my office took just about 20-30 minutes from home. And then, with “normal” coming back, the roads went berserk exploding with traffic. I tried alternative ways, but with session times being erratic due to global clientele, all I was thinking of was how to get to work and get back home efficiently. With exercise going down to bare minimum, and eating outside food becoming normal, I knew that my body was supporting me but wasn’t very happy. And weight gain, health problems, everything started one by one.. 

I knew that this commute and the resultant consequences were only going to get worse, but I wasn’t ready to let go. Oh and it is important to note that 90% of my work was virtual or offsite! But, I loved the space and the people a lot!

With patience, constructive self-talk and constant reminders of how the decision was important for me, I eventually took the call. I reminded myself of the time I would save. About the joy of coming back to workouts..

I chose health over crazy commute, I chose balance over hustle, and I felt ready to stick to my decision. I left office and signed up for cult.. And boy am I having a good time with all the extra time on my hands!! 

Sometimes (actually most times), we may know what is good for us, but still not feel ready to make the choice, because that would mean letting go of something that is also good. And the journey from temporary good to greater good is what I call growth! What do you think?

PS: I just completed 100 classes at cult last week! 🙂 

Written by Sushma

I watched this wonderful movie “12th Fail” last evening. And apart from the obvious story of persistence, grit and sincerity, here are some of my reflections..

1. Each of us has our set of cheerleaders – friends, family, coaches, mentors… The number may vary, but there are. It’s amazing how this cheerleading squad is rooting for the success of the protagonist, providing the support just anticipating it, even when not asked.
2. The attitude of gratitude can help overcome bitterness that one can develop towards life, especially during hardships. First, so beautifully portrayed when the protagonist conveys his gratitude to his friend despite an altercation, because of whom he heard the term “IPS” for the first time. Second, the protagonist giving his first wedding card invite expressing his gratitude to the officer whose words “give up cheating” changed his life forever, even though the officer didn’t remember him at first.
3. The clarity of thought regarding difference between the goal and the means to achieving it – Being an IPS officer is not the goal but a way to achieve his goal of serving the nation, and having a plan B in case he doesn’t clear his final attempt.
4. “If I cannot be the sun that shines over the earth, I could be the lamp that lights up the street” … The quote itself says it all!
5. Despite the external conditions and circumstances, one can choose to be in it with joy and cheer, taking it in their stride. The glimmer in the eyes of the protagonist when he is at the Flour mill- the optimism is so real and not delusional.
6. The thin line between standing up for yourself assertively and not disregarding and disrespecting another aggressively is beautifully showcased in the conversation at the police station as also in the final interview.

If you’ve watched the movie, do let me know what stayed with you.

-Sushma

Here are a few simple yet effective tips that you can use to plan your day better:

• Visualize your long term picture of success and put it in writing, or depict it graphically. 

• Set timelines, even if tentative. 

• Try to do your planning at the same time every day. Use this time to review past accomplishments as well as future things to do.
  
• Use only one planner to keep track of your appointments. Keeping a separate business and personal planner creates confusion. You can also use your calendar, or a spreadsheet.
  
• Write out a To Do list every day, to keep you on track, but do not obsess over it.
  
• Know the difference between urgent and important.
  
• Check off items as you complete them to give yourself a sense of accomplishment.
  
• Block off time in your planner for major activities, including thinking and reflection time. When you have it on your calendar, you will get to it 

• Don’t jam your day full of activities. Leave time for emergencies

• Always plan time for balance; include family, fitness, and recreation, social and spiritual activities. 

The other day, back in summer, I was having a chat with a corporate client after a workshop, and we got talking about mangoes. They mentioned that their mother till date doesn’t consume one full mango. And I was reminded that it was the case in our household too. Either a few mangoes were cut and we all had to share, or we had to ensure that there was a mix and match so everyone gets to taste all the mangoes, and that there is no one left with a not-so-sweet mango. The result, you can’t have a full mango alone..

Now this mango really stands for so many things that get packaged in our beliefs, doesn’t it? It is what we believe we are worthy of.. It could be a high-paying job. It could be loving relationships.. it could be perfect health.. If I believe that I don’t deserve any of this, then it is not going to come my way.. worse still, one can get caught in the pattern of hit and miss, which is so hurtful and frustrating. the belief that I have to earn worthiness..

Interestingly enough, when we first attempt to think differently, through any of the CBT or thought change models, the guilt of not obeying what was taught to us is paramount. The journey is in recognising and choosing to let go of the old to embrace the new, so we can all enjoy that full mango, guilt free! What do you think?

If you wish to explore this area at a deeper level, I invite you to join us for a two hour Zoom workshop “I deserve…” on Sunday, 27th August. 10 am to 12 noon. Do comment if you’d like to sign up.

deserve #worthiness

Wish you a Happy Holi!

Our lives are colourful, thanks to the variety of emotions we experience. While positive emotions are desirable, negative emotions can throw us off track. And did you know, negative emotions are of two types – helpful and unhelpful. Getting rid of negative emotions altogether is impossible in everyday situations, but learning the art of changing unhelpful emotions to helpful ones can really put you in charge of your life, and help you navigate through challenges successfully!

Join us this Saturday, 11th March, from 4 pm to 5.30 pm IST on Zoom, for our upcoming workshop “Explore, Embrace and Express Emotions”, and learn how to manage emotions at work and in personal life.

Here is the link to make the payment and register: https://rzp.io/i/GFQPg9S

You can also read more about the workshop here: http://www.refindyou.com/online-workshops

Have you ever had those days where you wake up and manage to do everything that you would like to? Like an ideal morning – meditation, reflection and journaling time, 60 minute workout, food preparation and/or anything else that kick starts your day? 

Today was such a day for me! It was like time and space got created miraculously, without any stress of having to do things! 

As a rule, unless I have a flight to catch, I don’t set an alarm, and I trust my body and mind to wake up once they are well rested and fresh. And today was a day with extra time!

It got me thinking, when we desire such “perfect” mornings, do we take a moment to celebrate them and us, when we have them? 

And, if you are someone that follows your routine to the tee, and this is therefore what each morning of yours looks like, do you take a moment to pat yourself on your back each day, and feel happy? Or do you just dismiss this off thinking it is “normal”. Come to think of it, this is you achieving your morning goals each and every day! 

Little moments like these where you recognise the achievement of goals and reward yourself with words of appreciation can go a long way in you believing in your ability. And it adds to the repository of evidence that you can do it, because you have done it, time and again. Isn’t this what #motivation is all about. 🙂 

This picture was clicked during our waiting time to Matrimandir.. our retreat was filled with so many beautiful highlights!

This post is dedicated to our wonderful participants

One of our participants, whose birthday it is today, made special arrangements to make it for the retreat, preponing her birthday leave during her probation so she could wholeheartedly participate, without work getting affected. Her sincerity and honesty throughout the four days was heartwarming!

Our second participant’s enthusiasm, eagerness to learn and willingness to be open brought a beautiful momentum to the entire retreat!

Most importantly, a small group is intimate, but can be really intense too, when it comes to personal work! And a residential program is at least twice the intensity as full day workshops.

Kudos to both of them for working together and individually! They truly brought meaning to the words “Celebrate YOU”.

Isn’t making mistakes, stalling and coming back on track a part of celebrating who we are as individuals? I say this because of what I recently went through…

We made the first official announcement of our first ever retreat in Nov 2022, with the website link, hotel details, travel suggestions etc etc. All positive emotions – excitement, joy, hope, everything was on a high. It was a wonderful feeling. Still is… But, what happened along the way is with other corporate work, workshops, one-on-one sessions taking precedence, talking about the retreat took a back seat. Of course, there were posts going up on social media – but the joy, excitement and all other positive emotions sort of dissipated. And then, looking at the calendar, an alarm struck in my head – “Oh My God.. There’s not much time left, it’s almost here”. And the tug-of-war between overthinking, analysing and procrastination began (three teams, I know 😊 ). “What if it’s too late? Where should I start now? How should I go about it? Afterall, I need to be the one that is planning…”The result, more delay and moving away from the initial gush of positive emotions. Soon, I caught myself playing this game.

I had a conversation with myself – (sharing it verbatim, as the tone of the self-talk eventually determines what we do. And notice the “We” v/s the “You” in the self-talk)

What was the reason behind planning and announcing this retreat? Wasn’t there a reason why we chose to call it “Celebrate You”? How did we feel when we first announced it? Given that all the content, the activities and everything is in order, the only part left is to create more visibility, so that maximum people benefit, and you enjoy conducting it too. And the best part, enrolments are there already, so that’s moving too! And as always, the perfect group comes together, and we have a great time together”.

The result of this conversation with myself is this blog. And the excitement and joy is back!

I invite you to this four-day amazing journey in the beautiful city of Pondicherry! You can expect insights, fun, laughter, introspection, a lot of inner work and celebration with a facilitator who stands for all of these(that’s me)! 😊

If you or anyone you know would like to sign up, the dates are 11 – 14 Feb at Auroville, Pondicherry

For all other details, here is the link: www.refindyou.com/retreat

PS: If you end up missing our blogs and other updates, do join our admins only Whatsapp group by clicking on this link: https://chat.whatsapp.com/F0ZDQLH58AYJhgJbPGr1WE

When I got my visiting cards printed over three years ago, pre-covid times, I had given a good thought to the services that ReFind You offers, whether we’d like to make any changes, additions, subtractions, etc. One service that I felt strongly about was Retreats, because I believe that time away from daily life doing inner work can speed up self growth way more than regular daily work. Let’s say it’s like a booster shot!

Back in the day, we used to offer a workshop “Harmonize.. Your Wellness Story “, which focused on how physical, emotional, spiritual wellness are the three pillars on which our holistic growth is based. The retreats were to be a level two of these workshops. I had scouted places, rolled out a plan, had enquiries, but the plan didn’t materialise. The visiting card did undergo revisions over time, but the retreats stayed on.. 

Cut to today- where the retreat plan is back, and is taking place in a location that is beautiful, with amazing vibe- Pondicherry. What better way to get back to the retreat bandwagon! So excited to facilitate this journey at the start of the new year. 

Retreat dates – 11-14 Feb 2023 

If you’d like to be a part of this journey, do check out http://www.refindyou.com/retreat